I did it!!

I defended my thesis yesterday, I was really nervous, but I did it, and Gosh I'm really happy about that! it's the first thing I finished in my whole life and that makes me proud of myself!!  All of these days I was pitying of myself, I felt sad, and I was missing someone, but I have to tell you that I feel released and I can see clearly what I want to do in my life. I don't worry about the future, because I know that God has an amazing plan for me. I decided to become existencialist, to live the moment and appreciate the little and beautiful things that happens everyday. Now, I will release the birds that were trapped in the cage I made with all my insecurities. I feel better now.

Here are the pictures of the defense:

I made an ideological analysis to the most representative textbooks of Bolivian education, the intersting thing about my research was that I chose the anarchist ideology to be the principal tool of ideological analysis.

 When I was listenning to the jury.

 With my friends waiting for the score of my defense.

Making the oath.

 It's saturday night do something new at home or go to a Karoke and sing the most horrible songs of all time.

Bianka

Will it rain?

I'm very stressed and the inspiration took vacations... The the day after tomorrow will be my thesis defense and I'm on the verge of collapse and I only ask to end this week... I feel a little bit sad, I want to talk to someone, but I can't find his soul... How much I hate to miss someone who behaves as an autistic, I'm tired of waiting for answers, I think I'm losing hope...

 Look at the cloudy sky and try to imagine what would you do when the rain begins to fall. I would walk in the the street as my hands dance with raindrops...

Bianka

Someday We'll know

When I was twelve I really like listen to this song. At that time I hadn't learned english yet. Now I can understand the lyrics of this song and it makes me think about something... Watch the video, I used to wonder how the singer could see with that hat...

Bianka

I don't need a bomb

And all I want is to be in the next step, I'm frightened, confused, angry and I really need peace... The defense of my thesis is coming, it's really near, this friday I will speak in front a lot of people about the research I've made in these three years, everybody are waiting for that! And I'm blocked, the words are locking in my mouth. I can't concentrate an all I want is to forget everything in my life for this week and  only think  about my defense.

I need flowers and a new sky, I need a hug from myself. I'm disappointed about something and I have to make a decision, but that will be the next week.

Move your heads and send kisses to the stars that are shining in the black velvet sky.

Bianka

Back in time

Watch this advert, I really like it.

Spring in Cochabamba

Since today the spring has come to this valley. The weather is warm in the afternoons and cool at nights, but I like the weather in the morning, it's a little bit different than warm and cool. When I leave my house and walk in the streets I can appreciate the color of the flowers and the blue, blue sky. Tonight I want to do something different and a good choice is a jazz concert in an old house.

I forgot, here in Bolivia today is like valentine's day, and the streets are full of cards sellers and stuffed animals. I think the chocolates and the florists stores are working very hard today, It's their day! I don't like that because I don't need a day to remember how much I love to someone, as a matter of fact I'm against any specific day that involves buying and selling of products and that is the unbridled consumerism; you don't have to give any presents just for specific days, you can give presents everyday, but beautiful presents that will live forever and don't cost anything.  Write a poem, say sublime words, make a present with your own hands but please don't think you can give them just a day, don't think like sheeps do. Don't follow anyone  and hate consumism.

Have a nice day and night, give kisses and hugs for no reason to the people that you love.

And watch this video performed by the greatest Jamiroquai.



Bianka

The secret of flowers

I love flowers, when I smell,touch and look at them I feel very happy. Today I read an article about the meaning of the flowers, and It was interesting, the author talked about how in the victorian era the lovers used to send messages with flowers, each flowers represented a feeling; the florists were poets who made art and verses with roses, lilies, orchids and other flowers.

I wish I could get a message on a bouquet of flowers from someone that I miss very much and unfortunatelly is not with me anymore, he didn't die but I realized that our story is dying in oblivion... 

P.S. I love all kind of flowers but I hate red roses, I don´t know why.

Bianka

Am I a girl?

This is the second post that I write... I didn't have time to make pretty the blog, but today I wanted to start writing new posts , why? because it's been so long that I don't do that, and because I'm at home, doing nothing, and I got tired of facebook... Right now I don't have a job and the next week I'm going to defend my thesis, everybody are excited about that, and I.. I'm really scared... It's been a long time since I do not speak in public... And I need to finish my presentation, but I don't know  why I can not concentrate, so I do other things when I use the computer... I read retro fashion blogs, I pin pictures on pinterest, and watch videos on youtube... I found a channel named shit girls say , I have to admit that the guy who plays the girl role looks definitely like a girl, I liked watching the videos very much, but then I stop and started to think, am I look like the girl on the video? and Actually I don't, maybe it's because of the culture but besides that I don't behave like girls from my city, I don't like to scream and give hugs to everybody, and the fact that I say like when I speak in english it's because of my lack of vocabulary... hehehehe That's why I write in this language, so I can improve it.

I know that every girl is different, but sometimes the television, the society and other stuff make us want to behave in a certain way, maybe to demonstrate the stupid idea of women and that is: Weak and shallow, and definitely we're not like that, we are more than words.

Bianka