Natural evilness

I don't know if I'm right but I'm trying to be consequent for what I say. Right now I'm looking for a job that makes me happy but then I wonder myself what makes me happy? I have all night to think about that. Be polite :) Bianka

They call it "aragem"

When I feel sad or I need a break, I love to feel the breeze in my face at my balcony, I open the door, walk and put my elbows on the railing of the balcony, then I look everything that surrounds me, I look  at my neighbour's roofs then sometimes,  I hear accidentally my neighbour's  voice, yelling to her sons... But I don't care, I make that moment just mine, the breeze and I have a special comunication. Have you ever felt that the breeze talks to you and it caresses your face or bring lovely memories? Have you?

Once a friend told me that I write like Hilda Mundy, a Bolivian writer whose book is a master piece of the every day life, she has a unique way to make a simple moment into a wonderful experience but  I don't think I have the same style like her, I need to learn and practice the writting  art. However I love to feel and write the moment, I love to sit alone in a Café and write about what happen surround me.

That's who I am, someone who watch a constant movie and explain every single moment  with a certain critic.

Go to  the park and jump.

Bianka

Let's choke with lost dreams

There are many things that are disturbing my mind, sometimes, I'm sure with the future that I'll build, sometimes, the fear comes and erase all my projects, I feel lost and I want to cry... I'm feeling desperate and my plans are melting down. Right now, I don't know if I'm going to travel to a near place... The more I want to be in another place the less chances I've got in this time. I think God wants me to stay here for a while, there might be a reason, and when this happen I would have the chance to travel to somewhere. I think this divine desire wants me to start my revolution here, beginning to love what I hate and be free.

I guess I can't runaway from myself... Thanks Massi, after four years I could understand what you were trying to say in that cold night... Man, I'm so sorry having broke our friendship like that...

So I stop worrying to begin a new life in a new place. I decided to begin my emancipation here, I know it would be hard but I realize that I have to make my revolution here, I need to prove myself that I'm strong and independent.

A christian anarchist has borned here and now, full of mixed feelings, looking for  her freedom until her end.

So I stay here to learn how to love this place and this moment. Let's see what tomorrow brings for me.

Listen to this lovely band, Guy Fox.

Bianka

Put white roses on this jar

Watch this video and listen to this amazing song performed by Dom La Nena and DanÇas ocultas. I'm trying to calm down but I'm getting tired to wait and then I think that waiting is all I have right now... Bianka

Afternoon of art

yesterday I went to a wonderful cafe called Arte Urquidi Café, it was an incredible experience having known such a creative space, full of art and interesting things, the paintings are amazing and you can meet the artist called Cayano. If you come to Bolivia, visit Cochabamba and this lovely cafe, you'll have the most delicious pumpkin coffee, also the craft beers made by the owners. Arte Urquidi Cafe also is an art school where you can learn how to draw and paint paintings, I don't know if the word is correct. Here you have their facebook fan page.

I leave you with some pictures of this place. 

Cry if you want to feel release.

Bianka

In and out

Today I woke up with the need of fighting for what I want but I wanted something more and things were coming like water in a waterfall, first, I watched a movie that in the first time I didn't like it but  as I was making my bed I started to catch the esence of closing the past that haunts you and forgive yourself about all the things you're blaming for what you've done.  The past is behind and you can't fix any of your mistakes you just have to learn from them. Last year I was the woman I hate to be and now I am the woman that I want to be all my life even when I were with someone. I like my past but I love this present, I love me. This is the end of my long catharsis with ups and downs, most of downs I must say, so I let the past go and hug my present. I am open to see new eyes.

By the way, this morning I read a lovely tale called In and Out by Hermann Hesse, that's why I named this post like the title. I don't feel empty when I read wonderful thoughts based in amazing phrases.

Bianka

Bubbles

I say I'll do and I never do and my biggest fear seems to be near... Have you ever wondered? (that's my favorite question) why you're here? . What would happened if I never were born? Well, life would have always been life and the air would be the same but what to do we need to find our way? Very existencial post, you might say but It's my blog and I write what I want.


I leave you this beautiful song  by Steen Rasmussen featuring one of my favorite singers: Josefine Cronholm.



Stop having illusions, they are not good if you want to walk alone.



Bianka