I quit the job, I didn't feel well there and it wasn't because the people who work there it's just that job it's not for me. Last thursday when the former librarian was explaining me what things I must do there I was questioning myself if that job was for me, if I'm going to be happy with the things I'm going to do, then, I was walking through the stone path, feeling sad, I wanted to cry right there, I was not happy, a whole year doing the inventary, the paperwork and accounting, a whole year to earn enough money to pay my trip for my master degree. At the beginning when I accepted the job I was thinking "I don't care if I have to do things that I don't like the only thing that is going to worth is that I'm going to save money and buy the things that I want" but I was wrong, this whole week I was feeling bad, I was thinking that I was killing my freedom because I was not doing what I like to do. I studied education sciences, I love to work with people through workshops in order to improve the kind of living of their communities, I love to write essays, I love to make educative researchs, ideological analysis, I love make educational projects, I love to create through my writings, I want to make a revolution, I want to live what I write, I want to make people understand that having leaders are not the way to have a better society.
I realized that I can not lie to myself, I would feel miserable if I earn good money but doing things that I hate. I didn't study 5 fucking years my career, to work with numbers, sitting in front of the desk, recieving orders from people who thinks your job is easy...
So I decided to quit because I didn't feel happy doing something that is not me. I need urgently money but I don't care if I find a job that I like but it's no well payed. I want to love what I do.
Everybody said that I was a coward and it was going to be a good challenge for me, some said that I was irresponsable, that I was going to be a loser, that life it's not fair, that if you want to make money you have to do many things you hate, that I was going to get used to that job....
In life, in school our parents, teachers and the rest of the society tells us to be the best, that we have to be winners and not losers. We have to compete with the others to have more money, a better social status; but, this is what we really want to be?
Why are there losers? Why are there winners in this society?
Right now I'm thinking what I'm going to do, I feel more inspired and now, I know what I want to do in my life :)
Bianka
