Inner violence

So today I gave my class at my church, I teach missionary education to 7 to 10 years old kids. It's an interesting experience but most of the times it's a little bit frustrating, you have to deal with many problems. Today, we were making puppets for a performance but, most of my students didn't understand me, no matter how I tried to teach them how to  make the puppets they didn't get it, am I doing something wrong or what happen?

Then I wonder myself as I was looking a fight between them, How the human being learns so quickly how to use the violence instead learning good things that will help how to improve their lives? Or maybe violence is inside us?

I believe in revolution but I need a way to make that happen.

Bianka

Looking for something sublime to fill this moment

Since yesterday I've been feeling a little bit sad, a little bit boring, I feel like I'm the most boring person in the world right now, something is missing and I don't what part is, what thing is. I'm blocked and my creativity ran away from me. I really want to go to mountains, be surrounded by eucalyptus trees, look everything surround me, listen the breeze's talking and go that stone place where I used to make bonfires when I was 13.

But I stay here, listenning to this band called The whiskey collection, their songs make you feel comfortable in your shitty moments.



Look at your hands, how many lines do they have?

Bianka

Sentimental concerns

"Una campana impiadosa repite la hora y ine
hace comprender que vivo, y me recuerda, también,
que sufro.
Sufro un extraño mal que hiere narcotizando;
mal de amores, de incomprendidas grandezas, de
infinitos ideales.
Mal que me incita a vivir en otro corazón, p^ra
descansar de la ruda tarea de sentirme vivir dentro
de mí misma." Therese Willms Montt

If you wonder why the paragraph it's a passage of a book, this afternoon I read a piece of a lovely book written by Teresa Wilms Montt, a Chilean writer of the beginning of the 20th century, the way she wrote her books was amazing, she was a melancolic woman who committed suicide at the age of 28. I just don't  know why I'm attracted to suicidal writers, but it's something  that I can't describe because in a certain way I identify myself with them, it seems that they are writting for me, I don't know...Well, I know but I can't say  the complete truth of my desires.

By the way, I found this picture of me, it was taken last may in a party called Spear Wolf Party vol. 3, by Night Animals, and it was a surprise, I didn't notice that they took me a picture, I like it although I think I look like a Drag queen... hahahahha.

If you want to know more about this party visit their facebook page with the name of Spear Wolf Records.

Eat hamburguers!!

Bianka

Abuelita Grillo

Hi everyone, sorry because I didn't write anything on the blog in these days, I've been writing and doing other stuffs, I'm still looking for a job but I know that I'll find the job for me, I'm feeling good and optimistic and with energy.

So, this post is special because I'm going to show you a little bit about my country and how? Well, here's a lovely animated short film made by eight bolivian artists with  the support from the Government of Denmark and other people. It talks about a the Cricket grandmother who walks through Bolivia with her amazing voice which has the power to make rain. The music is performed by one of the wonderful Bolivian female singer named Luzmila Carpio, her voice is just sublime.

I hope you like it, this is part of my culture, I will write some of this in later posts.



Hugs and good week :)



Bianka

How to separate Nuno and Cora?

And I'm in the middle of a break up... Don't misunderstand me, I'm writing a tale and I don't know how to cause a breaking up between the principal characters I don't even know how they are suposed to get to know each other... I made a pact with a friend to finish my tale until friday and send my tale to him to judge my work, it seems fair just for me, it's time to finish this tale that was born almost two years ago. So I'm fighting with my brain yelling to it for some creativity I hope I can be heard.

Dance flamenco with this mix.

GITANOS QUE AMAN from Angelectric on 8tracks Radio.

Kisses,

Bianka

Expecting nothing

I'm feeling sick today, I think I'm going to catch a cold but this doesn't mean I can not write on my blog and show you one of my favorite short animated films. This short film was made by Ivan Maximov and it's called school, hope you like it.

Don't push, let things happen.  

Bianka

In love with a dead

And we are imperfect in our own life theory, we don't believe in what we really believe and we deny it, we are a unique walking contradiction. There are many interesting ways how to study people's lives. For me, it's very amusing to listen to other people's beliefs eventhough  I disagree with some parts, I like the way that they are (some)  trying to fight against the system. So I'm trying to not judge people and listen to them, maybe I can learn some things from them but good things that will enrich my life.

Bianka

The importance of melodies

When I was a little girl I used to listen to my dad when he was rehearsing with his band or he was studying with his guitar, my dad is a musician but he is an empiric one, for me, my dad is a wonderful musician he makes the guitar talk and cry. Once, my dad told me that he would have liked to study Music, but there were two reasons to not doing that, his parents thought it was a bad idea and the second there wasn't a music career in my city.

As Plato said: “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.”  I'm sure that music make this world a beautiful place, do you imagine if there wouldn't be music? It's unimaginable, because music is in everything, in the nature, in the body, in the air. Listening to good music is a unique experience based in a bunch of mixed feelings.

 But let's focus on what I'm trying to say,  unfortunately Cochabamba, my city, doesn't have the career of Music in the University of San Simon, this university is public, I studied there Sciences Education and is one of the most important universities in Bolivia. However, there is a problem,  some authorities don't accept the program of Music so some people who want this project run as soon as possible ( because many people wants to study this career)  are asking for support signing a petition in order to show these authorities the great importance of this career  in Bolivian society. So please support this program signing in this link, many young people would be thankful for your support.

Today is la fete de la musique in Cochabamba, if you are here, well, go to some good pub and listen to good Cochabambinas bands.

Bianka

Bananero night :D

Hi!! I'm feeling good right now I just had coffee with my dear friend Fabian, his girlfriend Mariana and my sister, we had a lovely chat, we laughed and we talked about many things. Fabian is a wonderful friend, I tell him about everything that happens in my life, he is such a charm giving me advices, and I thank God for having this friend, unfortunately he's moving to another city and I'm going to miss him and our coffees but I wish him the best for his life and I'm praying for his relationship with his girlfriend, she's lovely and kind, they make a beautiful couple. I expect that our friendship would last until we die. So many blessing to my friend and his life. Here are some pictures of this evening.

 Mariana and Fabian.

 Fabián

 Me

 My sister and I

Bianka

Natural evilness

I don't know if I'm right but I'm trying to be consequent for what I say. Right now I'm looking for a job that makes me happy but then I wonder myself what makes me happy? I have all night to think about that. Be polite :) Bianka

They call it "aragem"

When I feel sad or I need a break, I love to feel the breeze in my face at my balcony, I open the door, walk and put my elbows on the railing of the balcony, then I look everything that surrounds me, I look  at my neighbour's roofs then sometimes,  I hear accidentally my neighbour's  voice, yelling to her sons... But I don't care, I make that moment just mine, the breeze and I have a special comunication. Have you ever felt that the breeze talks to you and it caresses your face or bring lovely memories? Have you?

Once a friend told me that I write like Hilda Mundy, a Bolivian writer whose book is a master piece of the every day life, she has a unique way to make a simple moment into a wonderful experience but  I don't think I have the same style like her, I need to learn and practice the writting  art. However I love to feel and write the moment, I love to sit alone in a Café and write about what happen surround me.

That's who I am, someone who watch a constant movie and explain every single moment  with a certain critic.

Go to  the park and jump.

Bianka

Let's choke with lost dreams

There are many things that are disturbing my mind, sometimes, I'm sure with the future that I'll build, sometimes, the fear comes and erase all my projects, I feel lost and I want to cry... I'm feeling desperate and my plans are melting down. Right now, I don't know if I'm going to travel to a near place... The more I want to be in another place the less chances I've got in this time. I think God wants me to stay here for a while, there might be a reason, and when this happen I would have the chance to travel to somewhere. I think this divine desire wants me to start my revolution here, beginning to love what I hate and be free.

I guess I can't runaway from myself... Thanks Massi, after four years I could understand what you were trying to say in that cold night... Man, I'm so sorry having broke our friendship like that...

So I stop worrying to begin a new life in a new place. I decided to begin my emancipation here, I know it would be hard but I realize that I have to make my revolution here, I need to prove myself that I'm strong and independent.

A christian anarchist has borned here and now, full of mixed feelings, looking for  her freedom until her end.

So I stay here to learn how to love this place and this moment. Let's see what tomorrow brings for me.

Listen to this lovely band, Guy Fox.

Bianka

Put white roses on this jar

Watch this video and listen to this amazing song performed by Dom La Nena and DanÇas ocultas. I'm trying to calm down but I'm getting tired to wait and then I think that waiting is all I have right now... Bianka

Afternoon of art

yesterday I went to a wonderful cafe called Arte Urquidi Café, it was an incredible experience having known such a creative space, full of art and interesting things, the paintings are amazing and you can meet the artist called Cayano. If you come to Bolivia, visit Cochabamba and this lovely cafe, you'll have the most delicious pumpkin coffee, also the craft beers made by the owners. Arte Urquidi Cafe also is an art school where you can learn how to draw and paint paintings, I don't know if the word is correct. Here you have their facebook fan page.

I leave you with some pictures of this place. 

Cry if you want to feel release.

Bianka

In and out

Today I woke up with the need of fighting for what I want but I wanted something more and things were coming like water in a waterfall, first, I watched a movie that in the first time I didn't like it but  as I was making my bed I started to catch the esence of closing the past that haunts you and forgive yourself about all the things you're blaming for what you've done.  The past is behind and you can't fix any of your mistakes you just have to learn from them. Last year I was the woman I hate to be and now I am the woman that I want to be all my life even when I were with someone. I like my past but I love this present, I love me. This is the end of my long catharsis with ups and downs, most of downs I must say, so I let the past go and hug my present. I am open to see new eyes.

By the way, this morning I read a lovely tale called In and Out by Hermann Hesse, that's why I named this post like the title. I don't feel empty when I read wonderful thoughts based in amazing phrases.

Bianka

Bubbles

I say I'll do and I never do and my biggest fear seems to be near... Have you ever wondered? (that's my favorite question) why you're here? . What would happened if I never were born? Well, life would have always been life and the air would be the same but what to do we need to find our way? Very existencial post, you might say but It's my blog and I write what I want.


I leave you this beautiful song  by Steen Rasmussen featuring one of my favorite singers: Josefine Cronholm.



Stop having illusions, they are not good if you want to walk alone.



Bianka