Vintage sewing patterns

I haven't written about my likes for a long time so now that I have enough time to meditate and trying to close my catharsis... I show you some retro sewing patterns pictures that I found in many different websites, so if you want to buy one of them, I leave you the link below the picture.

Bianka

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Denying

Have you ever wondered why we lie ourselves? Today I was thinking about that situation and I made my conclusion, it's because we're afraid about ourselves. Why we pretend to say the thruth if we're lying ourselves? I had a friend who always told me that she would never comeback to her ex boyfriend and she was just her friend... Well, last week I noticed that she was getting married and she haven't broken up with her boyfriend... I felt a little bit confused...Hey! I'm not her mother and I wouldn't have judged her, she used to tell me that she was with him because of the fear of being alone.
And I wonder why? Why we keep lying to ourselves? Why we just can't say the thruth and be brave to face what's going to come? We are our own enemy and most of us don't know ourselves...

Meditate, that the only thing that I can say right now.

Silence is true

Today as I was complaining about my weight ( I haven't worked out since 2011.... and my pants are not fitting me ) my mom told me that I'm not as young as I was when I was 15... Wow that hurted... I know, it sounds shallow but I always have thought that I would be young forever, I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke and I don't use too much make up on my face... I love to eat junk food and bread and I know that I have to eat healthy food and I have to work out... I'm a little lazy and I'm not proud of it... But the fact that I'm going to get old frightened me... And I don't want to get rush on doing many things because the time is stepping on me. I want to get old feeling satisfied with myself, I don't mind if I'm going to be alone but right now the only thing that matters is to make my projects come true and I need more courage to do it.

Have a nice night and eat fruits.

Bianka

It has to see the light

This is a special post because I'm going to show you an essay that I wrote for my master degree application, which unfortunately I've been rejected, so here you have. This essay talks about feminism in Bolivia and why it's not growing. It's my point of view about this situation. And I decided to show my writings in order to start the revolution that I've waited for so long .

Hope you read it.

Bianka

FEMINISM IN BOLIVIA

Bianka B. S.

Is there feminism in Bolivia? Bolivia is a diverse, multicultural country; we’re living in a revolution process that implies a return to Bolivian authentic roots, a decolonization process, however, the feminism is not accepted. As many countries, feminism has been misunderstood, people conceive it as a radical ideology of angry lesbian women who want to be like men (Hooks, 2000) and this country is not the exception. 

Sexism is the main factor of feminism misunderstanding.  For this purpose, it’s imperative to know the meaning of this problem. Sexism is a way of repression to human beings, this violence works through prejudices and segregations against men and women based on gender roles. By the same token, sexism has clung from education, religion and mass media. At school they teach us how to think in male and in female, the Bolivian education trains students with determined roles, teaching boys to make a chair and girls, to embroider a tablecloth. It’s interesting how school texts portray women, as weak, who have to suffer because of their gender, they show mothers like a sacrificed soul who had to kill all of their dreams.  Religions all over the world have always had a similar vision of women and the roles that they have to play; for example, some Christians use the bible to repress women indicating that the bible says that a woman has to be a virgin who must get married to have sex, a mother who has to give birth many children, a wife who has to be subjected to her husband, a hearer, not a speaker less a preacher. As well as education and religion are part of sexism, mass media plays a crucial role on its development, for instance, the television’s commercials, shows even the news objectify women, it’s regrettable how those commercials associate them with meat or leather. Mass media imposes the idea of beauty, exhibit voluptuousness in skinny bodies, a fantasy of perfection that any of us will see in real life.  Furthermore, mass media, through the commercials, expose women as a mother who need in “mother’s day” a new dish washer or a vacuum or maybe a new iron to iron her husband’s and children’s clothes. Unfortunately sexism is rooted in our everyday life and most of the people visualize it as a sacred law that anyone can break.

Adela Zamudio was a Bolivian writer of the XIX century, who fought for the women rights in Bolivia, she wrote a poem called “Nacer Hombre” (Born man), in which she talked about the segregation that Bolivian women were living in that time, she was so sublime in her revolution that everybody could understand that women are just as intelligent as men, that women can be writers and they can think by themselves, however, her writings did not impact to Bolivian people. In the late of XX century a movement called “Mujeres creando” (Women creating) started to redefine feminism through riots, graffiti and fanzines, their leader Maria Galindo have been a controversial figure in Bolivia, she is used to make unusual protests that call the attention for few people, but not to the whole Bolivians. Unfortunately she shows herself as the typical feminist cliché. Mujeres Creando had made a great effort to the Bolivian feminist literature though feminism is still considered as an angry radical ideology of crazy women.

It’s interesting how Bolivian people answer to you when you ask what feminism is, they instantly relate it with “Mujeres Creando”, thinking that feminism is for selfish women who try to be like men, who are vulgar, who doesn’t have manners, who dress sloppily with lack of hygiene. As a result, there is a huge mistake about the real meaning of feminism. Bolivian women are in status quo, indeed some of them think are feminists just because they think they are better than men, some of them think feminism is the same as machismo by arguing that men and female are equal. The Andean world view proclaims the nature duality, men and women together for the Pachamama (Mother Nature) wellness, this world view think that feminism is colonialism, that is the case of Andean people, who tout their love and protection to their women, but even Andean women suffer the violence and discrimination. 

Bolivian women suffer, who are the responsible? Women, men, sexism and culture.  As well as some men believe in machismo, women themselves  can be the most fervent male chauvinists, they protect men from women, they think women have to obey everything  that men orders;  there is a saying in the Bolivian culture: “A woman should not make a man cry because men never cry” They support their husbands’ violence against other women, at this point  they are decoupling of their gender, they defend this kind of protection by arguing that men are defenseless and they can be manipulated by “some mean women”, by the same token,  they consider them as enemies. As a result, most of Bolivian men are chauvinists, they want a woman who has to be a lady, a virgin to make his wife, a young girl that can be easy to manipulate, a homey woman who can cook for him, raise his children and organize everything in the house, they want a woman who speak less and smile more, they want to think for them and be the only head of the family, on the other hand there are men that fight for women rights and gender equity but there are only few of them. Subsequently, sexism rules in Bolivian women suffering, even in the revolution field think that women are weaker than men, that a woman has to be a mother and she’s the only one who can make the family organized. Sexism still lives in Bolivian people minds and because our lack of criticism we keep following all the predetermined canons of how men and women have to be, for this reason, women and men struggle with an unnecessary pressure just because absurd impositions of the past. Thereby, we reach to the most difficult factor of Bolivian women suffering which is Bolivian culture, no matter how hard you try to change something in a culture sometimes you fail in your purpose, Bolivia is multicultural, and it’s hard to make people understand that women is just as equal as men, they can do hard work, they can be clever in mathematics , they can take care of themselves, even they can be stronger than men, but that’s not the case, the Bolivian woman is wonderful, intense and put all of her passion in everything that she does. It’s an arduous work to make people understand that a woman has the right to decide to get married or not, to have a family or not. Some people think that if a woman is not a mother or a wife is not a woman and that’s a wrong idea, a woman can decide which be or not be.

At the end of this written, all I can say is that there is feminism in Bolivia, but it’s a new born who needs to be feed and caring. Bolivian people have to work very hard to take sexism away, because it’s the most principal repressor of the human being, it’s amazing how it has rooted to people’s mind, how many lies about our nature had become part of our history.  In most of the times you can’t fight against culture but if you see that women suffer because of traditions it’s important to make a change. And that change is through education, literature, internet, radio and in everyday life. It’s time to make a revolution and not a show, it’s time to make chaos in people’s mind, it’s time to make a unique and sublime revolution, I know the journey would be full of obstacles but we have to try and try and fight for a better place where women and men can be free just as they are.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

HOOKS, Bell

      2000

                            Feminism is for everybody: Passionate Politics, United States of America, South

                             End Press

Comic day!

Today, as I was reading a blog that I love, I found a funny comic by Abby Howard, she's an awesome artist, and her work is so hilarious, read this one, that made me laugh a lot!

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Kisses!!

Bianka

Unrepeated limited edition

Hi everyone! I'm back! Many things happened last week, I couldn't have time to write about them. On tuesday was my birthday but my mom made a dinner for me on thursday, it was lovely, all the people whom I love where there, celebrating my 26th birthday, I danced and sing a lot, I had fun. On friday I received my application response via e mail and I've been rejected to study that master degree... At the beginning I was sad and I wanted to cry but then I stopped and think that things happen for a reason so, I decided to study my master degree in a country close to mine, I won't tell you the name yet but  you will know at the end of the year. I'm going to finish all the paperwork for my bachelor title and I'm going to work to save money for my trip, I took this decisition and I won't change my mind, God gave me the power to make my dreams come true and I'm going to make it.

Lay on the grass and put your arms up.

Bianka

I always had

I don't know what the future has in its hands, I don't know if I'm going to be alive tomorrow but I want to be free and smiley. Today I felt a little bit grumpy... You know what I hate the most? Remembering bad moments... But, shit happens and I try to think in other things. I'm inspired today and I want to write in spanish some unusual pieces that, maybe, in the future will born into a poem.

I miss simpathy and I really want to hear some wonderful simple phrases that make my heart happy :)

Flying kisses!

Bianka

Walnuts with sweet milk

Here I am, tired of studying, I know that I didn't practice enough but  I did my best, I read and read many articles, practice a lot but right now I just want to go out and take a walk on the streets, see the cloudy sky and feel the wind, let me tell you that Cochabamba's weather is getting cold and little by little we realize that autumn is here. I'm trying to get focus on my study but I can't I want to make the time go faster and be in the next week. Next week I will receive the response of my aplication therefore I will tell my family what I'm going to do with my life.

Listen to these songs that I found in soundcloud.

Close your eyes and dance.


Bianka

The resistance has to be united

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Three months ago, I read a book by a wonderful writer called Bell Hooks, she is an afro american woman who is a feminist too; this book is amazing it helped me to understand what feminism is, indeed it helped me to clarify my doubts about this movement. In the beginning, I used to think that feminists were a bunch of lesbian who hated men.... I was completely wrong. Feminism it's not an aberration against humanity and it's not the same as machismo, this movement fights for gender equity, fights against sexism which is the main factor of violence against women, even sexism impairs men. In my culture it's not good to see men cry, because most of the people say that "Men are stronger than women and men don't have cry" And I ask myself Why a man has to be strong and a woman weak? Even in the resistance you can bread sexism, because they say that women's nature is to be delicate...

There are many things why feminism is good for society that I won't have one post enough to write about; but there will be more interesting posts like this one.

As a conclusion, you may wonder why the title, well, one of the reasons why feminism is misunderstood is because sisterhood is not united, women see other women as their enemies and this situation impair the fight for women rights. Have you ever wondered why there are femicides? One of the main reasons is because the sisterhood is not powerfull, women are divided and it's time to change this situation.

Bianka

The words I used to say

Yesterday as I was listening to a song I started to remember the kind experiences that I lived last year, and it was beautiful, I know that I have something to tell to my grandchildren... If I have children hehehe. I realized that most of the times I couldn't enjoy the beautiful moments that I spent with someone special but life is made to be learned. I learned many things about my former relationship and one of these things is that you can't force anyone to do something that doesn't want to do. I realized that I'm not prepared for marriage but that doesn't mean that I believe in concubinage, I believe that you get married when you make a commitment to share your life with someone else, it doesn't matter if you sign a paper or not but the most important thing is commitment, that's what I learned, too. But life goes on and I'm happy having spent good moments with someone special for me, now I'm confident about myself and ready to live my life by my own. I leave you with this video that reminds me a movie night.
 

Bianka

I smile with my eyes

It's time to chill out, listen to good music that inspires you to discover the happines which are in simple things. Smile and dance in your house or maybe in a disco, you choose :)

head in the clouds from hrvelle on 8tracks Radio.

Bianka

Cruise Clay

Hello! I'm Bianka and I have an attention disorder... The next week will be my toefl exam and I'm practicing a lot, but sometimes I can't focus about the reading topics besides of my lack of vocabulary that contributes to this problem, I'm wondering if I'm going to pass this test, I'm getting tired and all I can think about is about my future... Some news will appear on the day of my birthday... Some people would get a huge surprise and some wouldn't... And no, I don't have a boyfriend, just in case you want to know, as I said before I'm not prepared for a relationship.

Here are some pictures that explains what I want right now

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Bianka

We are honest by saying

I'm back! I've been sick all of this week, I couldn't stand for a long time, I had a terrible flu... And I couldn't do anything just staying at my bed... But I'm recovered and full of many things for the next two weeks, I have to study for my toefl exam and work on some papers for my bachelor's degree. This week make me wonder about  many things about life... Have you ever wondered why there are a lot poverty? Have you wonder that it's not enough to pray to God that he helps to poor people? Have you ever wondered why you want more material things? You're not happy because you have everything and you're wasting a lot of money in stupid things....

You can help and you can make your life worthy, don't waste your time feeling pity about yourself.

 Listen to this video performed by a great bassist, Victor Wooten, the song is called Hero.

Hugs


Bianka