This is me

I quit the job, I didn't feel well there and it wasn't because the people who work there it's just that job it's not for me. Last thursday when the former librarian was explaining me what things I must do there I was questioning myself if that job was for me, if I'm going to be happy with the things I'm going to do, then, I was walking through the stone path, feeling sad, I wanted to cry right there, I was not happy, a whole year doing the inventary, the paperwork and accounting, a whole year to earn enough money to pay my trip for my master degree. At the beginning when I accepted the job I was thinking "I don't care if I have to do things that I don't like the only thing that is going to worth is that I'm going  to save money and buy the things that I want" but I was wrong, this whole week I was feeling bad, I was thinking that I was killing my freedom because I was not doing what I like to do. I studied education sciences, I love to work with people through workshops in order to improve the kind of living of their communities, I love to write essays, I love to make educative researchs, ideological analysis, I love make educational projects, I love to create through my writings, I want to make a revolution, I want to live what I write, I want to make people understand that having leaders are not the way to have a better society.

 I realized that I can not lie to myself,  I would feel miserable if I earn good money but doing things that I hate. I didn't study 5 fucking years my career, to work  with numbers, sitting in front of the desk, recieving orders from people who thinks your job is easy...

So I decided to quit because I didn't feel happy doing something that is not me. I need urgently money but I don't care if I find a job that I like but it's no well payed. I want to love what I do.

Everybody said that I was a coward and it was going to be a good challenge for me, some said that I was irresponsable, that I was going to be a loser, that life it's not fair, that if you want to make money you have to do many things you hate, that I was going to get used to that job....

In life, in school our parents, teachers and the rest of the society tells us to be the best, that we have to be winners and not losers. We have to compete with the others to have more money, a better social status; but, this is what  we really want to be?

Why are there losers? Why are there winners in this society?

Right now I'm thinking what I'm going to do, I feel more inspired and now, I know what I want to do in my life :)

Bianka

Birthday and spirits

Yesterday was my brothers birthday, we went to a pub called Casablanca, we ate nachos with cheese and we drank wine, it wasn't a good one but we had fun chatting with friends and listenning to a jazz band.

Today, at work the former librarian told me that there are spirits in the school and I should no worry about, she said that they're nice... mmm I won't stay there at night I don't care if they get me fired!

I'm frightened and it's not only the spirits stuff it's because that job requires to do many things and I don't like to do inventary... I need to pray a lot, I don't want to quit this job, I really need the money but I don't know if this is the right job for me.... We'll see...

Make sound!

A year ago I wrote names in that table, yesterday I added an arrow in each name.

Wine and nachos.

A jazz band that played in that bar.

Me, I love my ring :)

When I was leaving work it started to rain, and the sky was so beautiful that took a picture of it.




Bianka

First day at work

Who said that the job of a librarian was easy? Well, it's not. Today was my first day at work, I woke up earlier, wait the bus and walk through a stone path. Well, there are many things to do there, also you have deal with everybody, I know that I'm not very social with people and it's hard for me talk and be nice with people... There are many challenges there and I know with God's help I will achieve them, I have a year to do it! I'm really frightened but I know I can handle it I have great support from God, my family and a few friends.

Here are some pictures of this day.

The stone path.

My work place.

Me, in that moment a girl jut came in and I moved the camera, she was laughing...

And more books, I couldn't finish to place them in the shelves...

Breathe deep and don't worry about anything just keep going.

Bianka

Tomorrow is the day

Source: thefancy.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Tomorrow is my first day of job, I'm really nervous, I'm going to the librarian of an american school and this will be my first serious job.  I have to get up earlier than I used to and I have to sacrify my naps... hahahha I know I'm a lazy girl but I love naps, anyway, wish me luck, tomorrow I will take pictures if I don't forget my camera.

Have a good sunday night :)

Bianka

A lovely video :)

This video made my day, it's an interesting experience to talk to children specially if they are 1, 2, 3 and 4 years.

Watch this video of this adorable baby named Birdie.

CONVERSATIONS WITH BIRDIE / EPISODE 02. from BLEUBIRD VIDEOS on Vimeo.

Awkward funny night

Yesterday night I met with my friends Nona and Marisol, at the beginning we wanted to go to Oxid, a bar that plays electronic music, but we changed our minds and went to La Troje, it's nice place but the first fridays of every month is really crowded. I got a little anxious because I don't like to be surrounded by many people, and you couldn't walk freely and when you are in a crowded place, something happens... I accidently touched, unintentionally, a guy's something private... And believe me it's embarrassing  when that person is looking at you as an stalker... I said sorry and  I walked away... Then My sister, my friend Marisol and I wanted to dance and we went to a place called La Tirana and guess what, It was closed! Then it started to rain and there was no cab, we got wet and decided to go home. Here are some pictures of yesterday.

My friend Marisol and I.

My beautiful friend Marisol.

Me, Nona and Marisol.

I like this picture :)

These days are awkward, I'm nervious, sad, angry and I wish I were to another place... like in a Berlin café chatting with a dear friend who lives in Europe, he is now in Berlin, he was in a café with his girlfriend, and he was chatting with me by facebook, he told me he was there and I asked him if he could tell me how that place looked like, he was kind enough to explain every single detail.

These days I don't have any advice to give you, sorry. 

Blogs I love to read

It's the second day of 2013 and I'm ok , a little bit nervous of what is coming but I will handle it the God's help.

This post is dedicated to the blogs I love to read. These bloggers are amazing and dedicated to their blogs and I wish someday I will meet them.

So here are the blogs I love to read:

Source: vintageportalen.se via Bianka on Pinterest

Jessica Silversaga from vintageportalen , she is a very talented photographer, you should see her work.

Source: freelancersfashion.blogspot.com via Bianka on Pinterest

Ulrika from freelancersfashion , she is a graphic designer, burlesque dancer and I love her style.

Source: keikolynn.com via Bianka on Pinterest

Keiko Lynn from keikolynn , she is a clothing designer and I love her make up!

Source: strawberrykoi.com via Bianka on Pinterest

Aya from strawberrykoi , she is a graphic designer, photographer, house wife, illustrator.Her outfits are lovely and her pictures too!  

Source: vixen-vintage.com via Bianka on Pinterest

Solanah from vixen vintage , she is a vintage model, I love her dresses, her pictures and the trips that she does.

There are many blogs that I love to read and I won't finish the post if I mention them. 

Cover your face with a sheet and leave the things that you can't fix, sometimes is not good to force a meeting.

Bianka